Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dear Karma,

What did I ever do to you?!?!

Okay missy, in all fairness, I don't "technically" know if you're behind this, and really, I cannot for the life of me think of what I did so wrong to have thrust myself into a state of disharmony with you, but SHEESH! What gives?

I'm scared to leave my house at this point!
{No, seriously. Like, It's 1:05 p.m. and I am in my pajamas, and I am NOT leaving my house today!}

Listen lady, I'm a reasonably nice person, if I do say so myself {and yes, yes I do}.

I give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. When I meet new people, I decide that I like them, and only change that opinion if they force me to do otherwise. {And truly, it takes a lot.}

I mind my own business.
I go about my day.

Yet, SOMEHOW, in the last 10 days I have been:

*Stared down and assaulted with fiery-angry-eyes at a restaurant by a complete stranger. And I am not talking about your garden-variety-angry-old-person in a restaurant stare down. I am talking "I would get a restraining order...if I knew who the crap you even are!" kind of stare down. YIKES!

*Treated like absolute crap by a group of women teaching a natural child-birth education course I was attending. Why hello high school, I've missed you!

*Honked at and fist-pumped-at by an angry elderly gentleman in a white Lexus SUV. {In all fairness, I WAS making a right-hand turn into the far right lane during a green light where I had clear - well, according to the LAW, anyway - RIGHT OF WAY, and he, who was making a left-hand turn, AND had his own left-hand lane to pull into clearly DID NOT have the right of way... but you know, by all means, HONK AT ME!!!! How dare I? Following the most basic of traffic laws and such...who do I think I am!?}

*Laughed at by a bitter BYU student in a Provo yogurt shop. Seriously? I go to the temple with two friends, and we go to get yogurt afterwards, and we are talking about BOOKS, and some nasty girl and her roommate get all sassy with us and laugh at and mock us? I'm at a loss. I just wanted to go eat some frozen yogurt! Can't a girl go get a yogurt and talk about books without crazy women accosting them at every turn?

You have me running scared, karma.
If, in reality, that is you, out there, sending all the crazies my way.

If you don't cease and desist immediately, I will have no choice other than to hermit up, lock it down, stop stimulating the economy with exorbitant purchases of frozen yogurt and Art City Trolley salads, and send the hubs out to get the groceries for the next 6 months. {Oooh he would be so mad at you....}

Don't make me do it.



Barbaloot said...

I'm kinda curious about the natural childbirth assault. Why were they mad at you?

And what books were you discussing whilst eating yogurt. I mean, if you brought up anything besides Twilight and/or Hunger Games you probly deserved it:)

the Lola Letters said...

Ha ha!!! Barb, I just love you. Embarrassingly enough, Hunger Games totally made it into the convo, but I mentioned "Ender's Game" and that's when the hysterical laughing in our faces commenced. It was seriously bizarre. BIZARRE! I am a total "mean people magnet" these days!

As for the child-birth education class, I went as one of my requirements for doula certification and as it turned out, was the only person in the room who had actually had 1)given birth to a child, and 2)done so without any medication. The girl teaching the class had never given birth, so, the expectant couple kept asking me questions about what it was really like, and what my experience had been...etc.

I felt a little uncomfortable - not wanting to step on the teacher's toes and what not - so I would answer honestly, and then turn the conversation back to the teacher. Then, when they were talking about "re-focusing" I shared a cool saying that I had heard that helps you recognize that yes, you are in pain, but it is "Pain with a purpose."

I could tell that the instructor was getting seriously annoyed, but didn't know how to "politely" tell the expectant couple that I did not want to answer anymore of their questions for fear of the instructor lighting me on fire with her eyeballs.

It was all very uncomfortable.

Sure enough, when I showed up for the 2nd day of class the next morning, the instructor said:

"I've been asked to ask you to please stop commenting during class. I mean, I know that they are asking you a lot of questions and that's not really your fault that they are asking you things, but if you could please answer as briefly as possible and not say anything else, that would be great."

And honestly, I was fine with that. I get it. But it was the way they treated me throughout the rest of the day that was crappy. They were just aloof and cold and weird. Then when the class was over, they said good-bye to everyone but me, and then scurried out of the room leaving me standing there, by myself, in their front room.

Classy and hospitable.

I SERIOUSLY felt like I was being cold-shouldered by 6th grade girls all over again. It was nuts.

And it was probably more traumatic than it should have been, but it has been such a weird couple of weeks! I think when you add it all up, I'm just at my dang limit.

Amie said...

Most of them are intimidated by you. You're beautiful, a great dresser, sophisticated, smart, etc. They are jealous. They are crabs, reaching up to pull those above them down.

Aubry Macbean said...

I hate weeks like that, when all the mean people in the world seem to keep interupting your life;)
Take a break, reenergize and know that you are loved.