Friday, February 10, 2012

Dearest Friends,

Did you know that Kortland is going to be in his school spelling bee next week? He is. And he's already envisioning the big win, talking about the trophy that he imagines will come with the big win, and is probably even making a game plan for juggling all of the cute groupies that inevitably sprout up around awesome local spellers.

He participated in the 3rd grade spelling bee a few weeks ago, and made the final 8, and thus was "qualified" to compete in the school spelling bee. I was SO NERVOUS while watching him at his 3rd grade bee! Like, embarrassingly nervous. I'm such a stage mom - ugh! I'm thinking I should possibly see a therapist. I suspect I am suffering from some post traumatic bee syndrome dating back to my own third grade spelling bee. Because, well, I have regrets. {Ha ha! Yeah, I said it.}

So now I find that I am totally drill-sergeant-ing Kort about practicing. I also spent HOURS making and organizing flash cards with 450 spelling bee words on them. {Yup.}

I counted how many days we had until the bee, divided that number into 450, and found that we'd need to do16 words a day.

I then divided the word cards into piles of 16 a piece, making sure to blend "easy" and "hard" words evenly so as to balance out the study time. {Yes this is all true. Embarrassing, and true.}

What I DIDN'T take into account was the fact that Kort would get a new iphone game called plants vs. zombies {What? We start 'em young in their zombie apocalypse preparation.}and that he would become totally obsessed with it, and therefore have little to no desire to study spelling bee words.
Not even JUST 16 of them a day.
Not even just 5
Not even any.
Not ANY I tell you!!!!
I kind of had a mini-panic attack watching as each days' worth of cards piled up on my desk, unused. I really tried to motivate Kort to action, but the hubs started looking at me like I was a shoe-in for a new TLC reality t.v. show titled "Bee Moms" {and no, that's not really a show, and yes I just made it up, however, I now get the sneaky suspicion that such a show will probably spring up on TLC within the next season or two...and they probably won't even give me my fair cut.}.

So, I was forced {by means of passively-judgmental glances via the hub-a-lubs himself}to give it up.

I stopped hounding him.
And I stopped worrying about it.
And I feel much better.

I mean, Kort is a pretty great speller and all, but his talents have clearly developed more fully in the area of green thumbery and zombie slaughter,which I think is going to be infinitely more useful in the long run, don't you?

I mean, have you ever heard of anyone SPELLING a rabid zombie to death?
That's what I thought.



Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh you are SO funny Lola : )
Tweeting this hilariousness right this instant!
And I am also linking it to our Communal Global post.
SO, so funny!
I will love you forever if you upload five pictures this week. I miss you and I get sad when I never see any new pics of you and your life.
You are incredible....even if you are destined for a reality show about psychotic mamas!

Jen Nelson said...

It's true. Being able to spell zombie apocalypse won't help you survive during one.

I'm glad Kortland has his priorities straight!!

Ashley Koz said...

Lol I love you!