What did I ever do to you?!?!
Okay missy, in all fairness, I don't "technically" know if you're behind this, and really, I cannot for the life of me think of what I did so wrong to have thrust myself into a state of disharmony with you, but SHEESH! What gives?
I'm scared to leave my house at this point!
{No, seriously. Like, It's 1:05 p.m. and I am in my pajamas, and I am NOT leaving my house today!}
Listen lady, I'm a reasonably nice person, if I do say so myself {and yes, yes I do}.
I give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. When I meet new people, I decide that I like them, and only change that opinion if they force me to do otherwise. {And truly, it takes a lot.}
I mind my own business.
I go about my day.
Yet, SOMEHOW, in the last 10 days I have been:
*Stared down and assaulted with fiery-angry-eyes at a restaurant by a complete stranger. And I am not talking about your garden-variety-angry-old-person in a restaurant stare down. I am talking "I would get a restraining order...if I knew who the crap you even are!" kind of stare down. YIKES!
*Treated like absolute crap by a group of women teaching a natural child-birth education course I was attending. Why hello high school, I've missed you!
*Honked at and fist-pumped-at by an angry elderly gentleman in a white Lexus SUV. {In all fairness, I WAS making a right-hand turn into the far right lane during a green light where I had clear - well, according to the LAW, anyway - RIGHT OF WAY, and he, who was making a left-hand turn, AND had his own left-hand lane to pull into clearly DID NOT have the right of way... but you know, by all means, HONK AT ME!!!! How dare I? Following the most basic of traffic laws and such...who do I think I am!?}
*Laughed at by a bitter BYU student in a Provo yogurt shop. Seriously? I go to the temple with two friends, and we go to get yogurt afterwards, and we are talking about BOOKS, and some nasty girl and her roommate get all sassy with us and laugh at and mock us? I'm at a loss. I just wanted to go eat some frozen yogurt! Can't a girl go get a yogurt and talk about books without crazy women accosting them at every turn?
You have me running scared, karma.
If, in reality, that is you, out there, sending all the crazies my way.
If you don't cease and desist immediately, I will have no choice other than to hermit up, lock it down, stop stimulating the economy with exorbitant purchases of frozen yogurt and Art City Trolley salads, and send the hubs out to get the groceries for the next 6 months. {Oooh he would be so mad at you....}
Don't make me do it.
Lola
