Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Dear Journal,

 I have a lot of random thoughts that I'd like to put to the proverbial page. Do indulge me. ;)

BUT, if you'd rather not read the randoms thoughts that I have decided must be put to the proverbial page, by all means, simply enjoy the still-life, red rock macho-ism that is none other than the amazing Kortland James Dugovic.

I've been reading my Grandma & Grandpa Headlee's Life Story in a "personal history" book that my Grandma has spent the last year compiling with a historian.And it is blowing my mind.

It covers not only my Grandma and Grandpa Headlee's lives, but the lives of their parent and grandparents and even small snippets of the lives of their great grand parents. I can't believe how little I knew of them, and how much I have enjoyed learning what little I have so far.

 I've never really understood the whole "genealogy bug" thing that people {ahem, usually over age 50...just sayin'} seem to get bitten with...until now. I cannot believe this book. I cannot believe the way that this book makes me feel. I can feel my ancestors with me as I read it. I can literally feel them in the room with me. I rarely get more than a few pages in before the tears start flowing. Tears of sorrow for their hardships {Grandma lost her father when she was only 17}, tears of joy because they were such good people, and most of all, tears because I can feel them with me still, and I know that I knew them once.

Generations separated us here on earth, but I knew them personally and deeply before I came here, and they knew me. And I know that they know me still, even though I've forgotten.

I have laughed at just how much I am like some of my relatives! My Great-Grandfather, Howard Bramall Mendenhall, LOVED music. He did a local radio show in Richfiled, Utah, and had a "radio room" in their house. {Because, as you may...or may not, remember, old-school radios were HUGE!} He loved to play music all throughout the house and he would turn it up nice and loud. My Great-Grandmother, Loretta Hicken Mendenhall, would follow behind him and turn everything down! Ha ha! And GUESS WHAT? The hubs and I do the exact same thing! Except, it's reversed. I love music swelling through the walls of our home. Classical, broadway, folk, country, piano, hip hop, old rock, it depends on my mood, but I LOVE music in my home. Music makes me feel like I can fill my home with beauty for the cost of an ipod and a set of speakers.

The hubs? He thinks I take it overboard, and guess who follows around behind me turning things down...or even off?! Yup. Him. {Stinker.}When I read that, I laughed, and had to read it out loud to the hubs. He thought that was pretty funny too. And it just felt good to think that a part of my Great-Grandfather lived on through me. In fact, he gave that same love of music to my grandmother, who gave it to my mother, who gave it to me. And that's even more amazing. What we do, matters. What moms do, matters. What dads do, yep, you guessed it, matters.

This book is clearly going to be life-altering for me. I can feel it.


That was one heck of a whirlwind trip through the Southwest...and we really loved it. I am still going through withdrawals from the great friends we were blessed to see {and crash in on} along the way.

The training was inspiring. I met some really awesome women, and learned A LOT. Mostly, I am just really excited to get going. It's funny, because I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing. It's just one of those times in life, where everything lines up perfectly, and you feel SO DRIVEN, and so passionate, and good, and happy and...yeah. 

But now the self-doubt is creeping in, and my head is saying: "There are already a lot of VERY qualified, awesome, fun, HypnoBirthing Instructors in the area." and "What if no one signs up to take my classes?" And...well, you get the picture.

And I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing this because 1. I adore it, and 2. I will be really GOOD at it, because 3. I adore it, and 4. I am not in this to hit record-breaking sign-up quotas, and take the field by storm. I am here to connect with mothers who want to reclaim their births on a one on one level. If I help even one woman have the kind of birth that leaves her feeling empowered, and strong, and blissful...I will be fulfilled.  So, pressure off. Right? Right. {...Right...?}

Also, I got my HypnoBirthing Blog up and running! It's called The Beauty of Being Born.
You could totally spread the word and tell people about it...you know...if you wanted...
I wouldn't mind.
Not even a little! ;)

I am REALLY excited.


I have become the assistant cheer coach for my niece, Jordan's, cheer-leading squad. I love it. The girls are so cute and great, and it's fun to be back doing choreography and dance critiques.


There really is no place like home. It's been crazy to be back where everyone has their own official place to sleep.... and keep their clothes...and bathe...and so on. Wow. The things you take for granted! I have a new found appreciation for work in the home. The laundry, and dishes, and the preparation of meals, etc. Routine is a good, good thing.

Our vacuum broke {or, Bubbuh's 6 inch fur strangled it to death, rather} and the hair around the house is driving me nuts! Dogs are such a contradiction. So much joy having them, and so much poop and fur to dampen that joy at every turn. Boo.

I miss my friends at communal global, and am willing {with every fiber of my being} life to slow down enough to post a dang pic {or thirty} and get back in the cg game!

I am really ready for summer. I'm ready for a home-town parade in Monroe, and a FISH RODEO in Marysvale! I'm really for pajamas till noon, late breakfasts, and warm days at the reservoir.

 Lola Photobucket


Laura said...

Just in case you don't remember, you introduced me to Hypnobirthing and because of your passion about it, I had the most amazing experience I've ever had in my entire life! So, you have already succeeded! I love you and you will be so amazing in this new path in your life!! :)

likeschocolate said...

Looks like he had a great time!