Breakfast of Champions

Kort has begged {for a rather long time now} to eat breakfast at school.
I ALWAYS say no.

This is one part because I don't want to pay $1.25 for it, and 3 parts because I don't think that America's schools are all that skilled at putting together nutritional meals for their students.

Case in point?

A corn dog {yeah, you read that right, a CORN DOG - a.k.a breaded, deep-fried cancer stick} is the meal replacement option at lunch EVERYDAY. That's right. This means that if my kid doesn't want to eat lasagna and green beans, or turkey and mashed potatoes on any given day... he can ALWAYS opt to eat a corn dog instead. Yup. Always. I didn't even know that was an option until sometime last year when one of Kort's buddies let it slip that Kort was eating a corn dog every. single. day. and had done so for WEEKS on end.

{And yes, if he develops cancer in the next decade, you best believe that the Utah School District will have a class action suit on their hands. Who on earth let's a FIRST grader choose between something marginally healthy and something completely unhealthy on a daily basis. REALLY, school system? Really?}

So yeah, when it comes down to me trusting the school district to have any idea as to what they are doing in the nutrition department...

Well, I just don't.
Simple as that.

Another great reason to opt out of school breakfast is that we really try to keep Kort's sugar intake at ZERO before sending him off to school, because let's face it: He is the last kid on earth who needs any extra energy heading into a school setting. I adore his teacher. I really don't want to do mean things to her, and sending a sugared up Kortland twitching, babbling, and squealing into her classroom each day would qualify as just that. Meany, mean mean..

So, Kort eats a breakfast burrito every morning. Lots of protein in the eggs, and little bit of carb in the fresh tortilla, some veggie-ness curteousy of the salsa... you know, a GOOD, basic meal. He drinks milk and sometimes eats a lil' California Cutie orange, and we call it good.

Well, I had a weird night last night, so the hubs hopped up and took over this morning so I could sleep. {What a peach.} He got Kort totally ready and was going to cook him some eggs {his daddy specialty} but Kort balks.

He wants a breakfast burrito.
Dad can't make breakfast burritos.
Well he wants one anyway.
Dad says no.
Kort says "It's soooo easy!"
{And then proceeds to tell his dad how to do it - DUH!}
Dad says he can't.

{Aw, so nice to feel irreplaceable.
Thank heaven there's something that delicious hunk of man can't do,
I was starting to feel inferior...;)}

Dad has a light bulb moment.
Kort can go have breakfast at school today!
{We DID tell him that
"sometime"
and
"maybe once"
he could go do breakfast at school.
So now was as good a time as any.}

When dad offered, Kort's head nearly exploded from the joy of it all, and he ran screaming from the house so as to have as much cafeteria time as humanly possible before school started.

Wanna know what he had for breakfast today?
{He gave me the run down after school:}

He had cereal.
This Kind:

And heaven forbid he use plain old white milk on his mini box of sugary delights. No, no, that simply won't do. His milk should match the cereal {duh}. It clearly has to be chocolate. So that's precisely what he used.




And as if all that wasn't bad enough, he chased it down with this lil' number:


Are ya KIDDING me school system?
A CHURRO?!

FYI:
Churros are carnival treats.
They are for children at the circus...or the state fair.
They fall into a category with funnel cakes, mini doughnuts, and deep fried twinkies.
On what planet is a churro a breakfast food!!!???

{I'll tell you what planet:
A planet I would like to dwell upon.
A planet where I would also likely be made queen of all churro-eating things
because I would tame them with the magic trick of eating 20 churros in a row,
and not even batting an eye because I love me some dang churros.}

But we're not talking about me
{or my less than moderate/healthy/balanced churro scarfing tendencies...}.
We are talking about a second grader.
A second grader people!
MY second grader, to be exact.
And this simply will not do.

Well, I sure hope Kort enjoyed his school breakfast,
{and I have no doubt that he did.}
cause it will be his last.

In all fairness,  I might just be jealous of his churro.
Hm, wonder if there's a "bring your parent to school breakfast" in the next few weeks...