Sunday, May 17, 2009

on the road again...

Who would have thought that this:

Could turn into this?:

(after being on the road all of ten minutes)
V: are we in George yet?
Lola: No, it’s going to be a long, long time, kay bud?
V: O tay!
(quiet…for all of two seconds.)
Kortland: Mom! V is trying to steal my magnets! He’s going to…
(the sound of metal and plastic crushing in on itself.)
Kortland: Mooooom!
(hysterical sobbing, his beautiful …magnetic… masterpiece… is…no more!)
Nancy: V! Don’t you touch his magnets!
V: O tay!
(sweetly, he is so on board, I can tell.)
(2 seconds later, more metal crushing in on itself.)
Kortland: I hate these magnets! They’re just so stupid!
R: Oh! (shocked, offended, can’t believe his ears.) Kort, don’t say that! That’s a swear word. Do you know that I said that one time and my mom washed my mouth out with soap?!
Kortland: I didn’t say a swear word! (stupid is a rude word, but not necessarily a SWEAR word, but also NOT a word I want him saying…)
R: Yes you did.
Kortland: Did not!
R: Did.
Kortland: (borderline screeching at the top of his lungs.) DID NOT!
R: Did. Did. Did.
Lola: Okay, okay! Kort, it’s a word that we aren’t going to say, so don’t say it, okay?
Kortland: Oh al-right. (huffy, rolls his eyes. cue sitcom laugh track.)
(30 seconds later, magnetic masterpiece tower collapses..again)
Kortland: Stupid THING!
(smashes the magnets to smithereens, and flings them onto the car floor…yes he gets that from me….Realizes what he’s just said *GASPS* and clamps both hands over his mouth.)
Kortland: Oh, sorry! I forgot.
(he mumbles this through the cracks in his fingers…does he actually think that I brought a bar of soap in the car with me?)
Lola: That’s fine bud, just don’t say it again please. (after all, R looks mildly horrified/aghast/shocked out of his gourd)
Really, Nancy? Just soap?… or is that soap followed by a solid beating and 12 hours of Chinese water torture? Hmmmm…? You’ve got some splainin’ to do…
(blissful, beautiful quiet for another 30 seconds…then V pulls Kortland’s hair and Kortland starts screaming at the top of his lungs . And then I’m yelling… like, the ghetto, “I’m never going to lose it like that when I am the most perfect mom ever someday” kind of yelling.)
Lola: Okay, listen up! If you guys do not sit down, fold your arms, and watch the movie, you’re NOT going swimming!
V: I go swimming in George! I’n a big boy.”
Lola: You have to stop hitting if you want to go swimming in St. George.
V: O tay.
Korltand – talking, talking, talking.
Lola: Kort PLEASE just watch your movie. I have a headache. No more talking.
Kortland- talking, talking, talking.
Lola: Kortland! Okay fine, you’re not going swimming today.
Kortland: Okay, okay, I’ll stop.
Lola: No, I’m sorry bud, you aren’t going.
Kortland: Can I please just have one more chance?
Lola: Sorry.
Kortland: Please? Please? Please? Please?
Lola: That’s not helping.
R: (deeply concerned) Mom, I have been trying really, really hard to be good, can we please go swimming when we get to St. George?
(It’s true…he’d been a peach the whole time.)
Nancy: We will have to see.
R: (Sits back in his seat, nervously eyeing Kortland and V… he just knows they’re going to mess this up for him…they always do.)
Kortland: When are we gonna be there?
V: Yeah! When we gonna be ta George?
(followed by more hair pulling, slapping, throwing, fighting, teasing, yelling, and “When are we gonna be there’s. “

QUESTION: Do you have ANY idea how long it takes to drive from Springville to St. George with 3 crazy cousins in the car?

ANSWER: Roughly 12 hours…or so it feels.

But, it was worth it.
Oh, and the drive home?
much better.


Kristina P. said...

I'm glad it was worth it!

And I love your new header.

Jillian said...

Lol! I'm glad to see my children are normal...unless you guys and us guys(?) aren't normal. Hmmm...

Nisa said...

This all sounds so familiar... I sympathize! Glad the trip was worth it and the drive home was quiet!!

Ashley said...

Yah, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT looking forward to driving 2,500 miles across the country with my 3 kids all by myself! I already want to shoot myself just THINKING about it...... ugh. It better be worth it! haha

Glad you guys had a safe trip =)

SO said...

I love your new banner!! And I would have lost it more than once. I'm glad you had fun while you were there and that the drive home was quiet.

Ashley Koz said...

Ha Ha, Thats exactly how I felt last week