Kortland riding in the van with his cousin:
COUSIN: I have two girlfriends now: Alivia and Lacey.
(me: what?! He's in 1st grade for cryin out flavin! Is this really starting already?)
KORTLAND: That's cool. My first girlfriend says she's in love with someone else now.
(me: what!? what girlfriend!? I'm sorry...come again?!)
COUSIN: Oh. My girlfriends are still in love with me.
LOLA: Who was your girlfriend bud?
KORTLAND: I'm not telling. It's a secret.
LOLA: If I guess who it is, will you tell me?
KORTLAND: (almost positive that I could never guess it in a million years) Yep.
LOLA: Is it _______?
KORTLAND: he he....yes. (mild shock and amused defeat)
Being "mom-helper" twice a week is so money baby! Ain't nothin' gettin' past me!
LOLA: Well who is she in love with now?
(My money is on Zach Efron, that girl is an H.S.M. - N.U.T. Besides, I broke up with my boyfriend in first grade because I was in love with Macgyver...stranger things have happened.)
KORTLAND: I don't know, she won't tell me. (so nonchalant, it's hilarious)
LOLA: Does it make you sad that she's in love with someone else now?
KORTLAND: No. (and it's clear that he really isn't broken up about it...like, at all.)
Isn't this supposed to happen in like, High School or something?! Sure, I got around in kindergarten and first grade. I was a fairly promiscuous 5 year old (never met a game of kissy tag that I didn't like) but I thought I was the exception, not the rule!
I don't like it.
Not one little bit.