WATCH OUT YA'LL! THE KORT-MASTER-FLEX GOT A
WATCH FOR CHRISTMAS AND HE'S RUNNIN' A PRETTY TIGHT SHIP THESE DAYS.
NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? JUST ASK HIM. DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT
TIME IT IS? HE'S PROBABLY GONNA TELL YOU ANYWAY. GONNA BE RUNNING
A FEW MINUTES LATE? THEN BELIEVE YOU ME, YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT.
(IN MINUTES, SECONDS, AND NANO SECONDS TO BE PRECISE) AND NOW GOOD OLE'
JEBEDIAH (SOMETIMES WE LIKE TO CALL HIM JEB FOR SHORT) ISN'T GONNA BE
THE ONLY KID IN THE CLASS WITH THE POWER TO GIVE (AND WITHHOLD) THE
EXCLUSIVE, INCREDIBLE, ALL-IMPORTANT GIFT OF TIME.) BUT, WORRY NOT.
KORT TAKES THIS RESPONSIBILITY VERY SERIOUSLY. HE HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED
TO USE THIS POWER ONLY FOR GOOD AND TO WILLINGLY DIVULGE THE TIME TO ANY
HELPLESS STUDENT WHO IS IN NEED.
WATCH FOR CHRISTMAS AND HE'S RUNNIN' A PRETTY TIGHT SHIP THESE DAYS.
NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? JUST ASK HIM. DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT
TIME IT IS? HE'S PROBABLY GONNA TELL YOU ANYWAY. GONNA BE RUNNING
A FEW MINUTES LATE? THEN BELIEVE YOU ME, YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT.
(IN MINUTES, SECONDS, AND NANO SECONDS TO BE PRECISE) AND NOW GOOD OLE'
JEBEDIAH (SOMETIMES WE LIKE TO CALL HIM JEB FOR SHORT) ISN'T GONNA BE
THE ONLY KID IN THE CLASS WITH THE POWER TO GIVE (AND WITHHOLD) THE
EXCLUSIVE, INCREDIBLE, ALL-IMPORTANT GIFT OF TIME.) BUT, WORRY NOT.
KORT TAKES THIS RESPONSIBILITY VERY SERIOUSLY. HE HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED
TO USE THIS POWER ONLY FOR GOOD AND TO WILLINGLY DIVULGE THE TIME TO ANY
HELPLESS STUDENT WHO IS IN NEED.
NEW YEAR'S EVE DINNER WITH THE FAM. MY
BROTHERS AND HUSBAND WERE HANDSOME AS EVER, JACK FAVORED US
WITH THE CLASSIC "MONKEY FACE," "CHEESE," AND EVEN PULLED A NEW
TRICK OUT OF HIS HAT FOR THIS SPECIAL OCCASION. BRYAN WOULD SAY,
"JACK, HOW OLD ARE YOU?" AND JACK WOULD WAIT FOR A MINUTE AND
THEN POP THE #1 UP WITH HIS FINGER. SO CUTE! THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS
HILARIOUS WHEN HE DID IT TOO. I WISH I COULD HAVE CAUGHT IT ON CAMERA.
BROTHERS AND HUSBAND WERE HANDSOME AS EVER, JACK FAVORED US
WITH THE CLASSIC "MONKEY FACE," "CHEESE," AND EVEN PULLED A NEW
TRICK OUT OF HIS HAT FOR THIS SPECIAL OCCASION. BRYAN WOULD SAY,
"JACK, HOW OLD ARE YOU?" AND JACK WOULD WAIT FOR A MINUTE AND
THEN POP THE #1 UP WITH HIS FINGER. SO CUTE! THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS
HILARIOUS WHEN HE DID IT TOO. I WISH I COULD HAVE CAUGHT IT ON CAMERA.
WE WENT AND HUNG OUT AT MOM'S AFTER DINNER,
AND RACHELLE MADE THE BEST TREAT/APPETIZER/LITTLE SLICE OF HEAVEN
THINGY I HAVE EVER HAD! I LOVE THIS PIC. RACHELLE LOOKS LIKE
BRE VAN DE KAMP AND DREW LOOKS LIKE AN EVER-LOVIN' AXE MURDERER!
SOOOOO YUMMY.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
GEEZ. YUMMYYUMMYYUMMY
AND RACHELLE MADE THE BEST TREAT/APPETIZER/LITTLE SLICE OF HEAVEN
THINGY I HAVE EVER HAD! I LOVE THIS PIC. RACHELLE LOOKS LIKE
BRE VAN DE KAMP AND DREW LOOKS LIKE AN EVER-LOVIN' AXE MURDERER!
SOOOOO YUMMY.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
GEEZ. YUMMYYUMMYYUMMY
"IS THAT A WHEEL OF BRIE CHEESE?" (YOU ASK,
WIPING A BIT OF DROOL FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH) WHY YES (I SAY) IT'S A
WHEEL OF BRIE THAT HAS BEEN SMOTHERED IN BROWN SUGAR, TOPPED WITH
CHOPPED PECANS, WRAPPED IN A PUFF PASTRY, BASTED WITH EGG WHITES, AND
BAKED IN THE OVEN FOR 30 MINUTES. THEN (AS IF THAT DOESN'T SOUND INCREDIBLE
ENOUGH) YOU EAT IT WITH SLICED GRANNY SMITH APPLES. "IS IT GOOD?" (YOU ASK)
WHY, YES! (I SAY) IT'S SORT OF LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY, MOVING TO HAWAII,
CHOWING DOWN ON YOUR FAVORITE FISH TACOS, TAKING A NAP ON THE BEACH,
GETTING A FULL BODY MASSAGE, A PEDICURE, A MANICURE, FOOT RUB, EATING
AGAIN, TAKING ANOTHER NAP, AND LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER...ONLY...IN YOUR MOUTH.
T
WIPING A BIT OF DROOL FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH) WHY YES (I SAY) IT'S A
WHEEL OF BRIE THAT HAS BEEN SMOTHERED IN BROWN SUGAR, TOPPED WITH
CHOPPED PECANS, WRAPPED IN A PUFF PASTRY, BASTED WITH EGG WHITES, AND
BAKED IN THE OVEN FOR 30 MINUTES. THEN (AS IF THAT DOESN'T SOUND INCREDIBLE
ENOUGH) YOU EAT IT WITH SLICED GRANNY SMITH APPLES. "IS IT GOOD?" (YOU ASK)
WHY, YES! (I SAY) IT'S SORT OF LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY, MOVING TO HAWAII,
CHOWING DOWN ON YOUR FAVORITE FISH TACOS, TAKING A NAP ON THE BEACH,
GETTING A FULL BODY MASSAGE, A PEDICURE, A MANICURE, FOOT RUB, EATING
AGAIN, TAKING ANOTHER NAP, AND LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER...ONLY...IN YOUR MOUTH.
THE WII MASTER. STICKIN' IT TO THE FAM. (HAVE I MENTIONED MY DEEP AND ABIDING LOVE FOR JAMMIE BUTT? OH, ABOUT A MILLION TIMES? OKAY, JUST MAKING SURE YOU ALL KNEW...)KORT IS A LOT OF THINGS. SWEET, SMART, CONSIDERATE, THOUGHTFUL, A GREAT MINDER, SILLY, FUN...THE LIST GOES ON AND ON, HOWEVER IT DOES NOT (IN ANY WAY, SORT, OR FORM) INCLUDE GOOD SPORTSMAN! AHHHH! HE'S SUCH A TURD! YOU TURN ON THE WII AND IT HAS A TOTAL JEKYLL AND HYDE EFFECT! YEEEOWSERS! WATCH OUT YA'LL! HE.IS. SO. INTENSE! (WE'RE WORKING ON IT). HERE ARE A FEW QUOTES FROM HIS LITTLE WII SESH AT MY PARENTS' HOUSE.
PLAYING SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL (ON ADVENTURE MODE):
TO GAGA: "YOU DIED. YOU'RE OUT. IT'S ALL UP TO ME. IT'S ALL UP TO ME."
PLAYING SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL (ON ADVENTURE MODE):
TO GAGA: "YOU DIED. YOU'RE OUT. IT'S ALL UP TO ME. IT'S ALL UP TO ME."
TO GAGA: "I DIED. I'M OUT. IT'S ALL UP TO YOU. IT'S ALL UP TO YOU."
GAGA WALKS IN FRONT OF HIM WHILE HE'S PLAYING:
KORT: "HEY, WATCH OUT! I CAN'T SEE! I'M IN A BATTLE HERE!"
KORTLANDISM OF THE WEEK:
LOLA GETS INTO CAR WITH THE HUBS AND THE KID. LOLA TURNS TO THE HUBS AND SAYS:
"BABE, DO YOU HAVE SOME CASH?"
(I WANTED TO GRAB A PEPPERMINT HOT CHOCOLATE ON MY WAY TO REHEARSAL)
KORTLAND CALLS FROM HIS CAR SEAT
"CASH FOR GOLD DOT COM!"
AHHH HA HA HA HA!
(YEAH, PRETTY SURE OUR QUBO CHANNEL IS GOING TO GET THE BOOT! IF I HEAR ONE MORE KINDERGARTEN PITCH ABOUT THE TOTAL GYM, PANCAKE PUFFS, SOME RANDOM CELL PHONE CLIP, OR MAILING MY BROKEN GOLD JEWELRY TO SOME GHETTO MELTERY... I'M GONNA SCREAM!)
GAGA WALKS IN FRONT OF HIM WHILE HE'S PLAYING:
KORT: "HEY, WATCH OUT! I CAN'T SEE! I'M IN A BATTLE HERE!"
KORTLANDISM OF THE WEEK:
LOLA GETS INTO CAR WITH THE HUBS AND THE KID. LOLA TURNS TO THE HUBS AND SAYS:
"BABE, DO YOU HAVE SOME CASH?"
(I WANTED TO GRAB A PEPPERMINT HOT CHOCOLATE ON MY WAY TO REHEARSAL)
KORTLAND CALLS FROM HIS CAR SEAT
"CASH FOR GOLD DOT COM!"
AHHH HA HA HA HA!
(YEAH, PRETTY SURE OUR QUBO CHANNEL IS GOING TO GET THE BOOT! IF I HEAR ONE MORE KINDERGARTEN PITCH ABOUT THE TOTAL GYM, PANCAKE PUFFS, SOME RANDOM CELL PHONE CLIP, OR MAILING MY BROKEN GOLD JEWELRY TO SOME GHETTO MELTERY... I'M GONNA SCREAM!)
5 comments:
oh my snap laura! k i've had the best time reading this blog. i must admit i stalked your other blog for a day or two but this one. whoa baby! i had no idea you...b.j.... ;) super cool to see all that's going on in your sphere of utah. i'm going to have to link this so i can remember to check back on tell all tuesdays. I might even be brave enough to post from my own journals. there's a pretty sappy entry about my unrequited love for brandon justice.
Aaah! Andrea. Love it! Brandon Justice huh? I'd have never guessed. That's completely fantastic. You should absolutely post old journal entires. Nothin' like airing your nerdy, overly-dramatic, teenage laundry out in the open for the rest of the world to see! In a word: liberating ;o)
I need to eat that brie cheese thing. Seriously. I expect for you to make if for me. What time should I be over?
You show up, I'll make it baby!
you have a way with words, girl. and that way is a short trip to "oh-gosh-my-stomache-hurts-from-laughing-sooooo-hard-I-think-I'm-gonna-pee-myself." I LOVALOVALOVA you. I need more info on the St. George extravaganza! Call me. But not tonight, I got not one, not two, but three hours of sleep last night. nighty-night.
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