brothers. breastfeeding. and such.

Are these shots precious or what? Oh the faces. Man, I love these boys. And I have really missed blogging! Things have been nuts! We have been in and out of town, trying to get sleep schedules figured out, and generally letting all things good and lovely run amok. You should see my kitchen sink...well, and the rest of my house. Yikes!

To top it all off, jeeeust when I thought I had the whole breastfeeding thing figured out, I hit a new bump in the road. Volume issues. Boo. And you know what I seem to be learning at every new twist or turn in this road called motherhood? It's really annoying when books and people state things to you as though they are indisputable fact, when, in reality, all of their tips and suggestions (well-meaning as they are) simply don't work for you.

As a resident know-it-all here in mommyland, it's always good for me to experience the annoyingness of know-it-all-ness so as to better censor myself from being just such a "know-it-all" towards others in similar situations. It has taught me to better understand what many moms must go through when their bodies just won't produce or do any other number of things that should supposedly come so natural to women. (You know, like, such as make a baby at all...or go into labor on its own! Dang bodies of ours ;)

In an effort to increase milk production, I can eat like crazy, eat specifically recommended things, pump and nurse every hour on the hour till the cows come home, and it doesn't make a bit of difference. But do you want to know the only thing that has worked for me? SLEEP! Isn't that funny? If I take a lil' nap when I'm getting low...BOOM! Loads and loads of milkies for Mr. Tentens. Fancy that...now, if I can just find TIME to sleep more often! That's the tricky part.

I am POSITIVE that all of the suggestions I have read or received have worked wonders for thousands of women. I'm definitely not saying that they haven't. I'm just saying that it's sort of awesome when we can give such advice in a proactive and helpful sort of way rather than in an "end all be all" sort of way that makes women feel like failures if it doesn't work for them. Lesson learned for Lola. That's all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and sleep, sleep, sleep!

It's good to be back.

Tentens. (First "Official" Photoshoot) AND breastfeeding: this is really hard...

Dude, this kid came hungry. No, hungry doesn't actually even BEGIN to sum it up. He came starving. I might even dare say that he came equipped with a full-fledged over-eating disorder. It is killing me. He drains both sides, and then, 30 minutes later, he is crying and rooting around for more. My boobs hurt so bad... I honestly feel like I am going to die. It was NEVER like this with Kort. I wasn't at all prepared for this. It got so bad today, that I would latch him on, curl my toes, stifle a scream so as not to scare my little guy, and then cry through the whole 40 minute nursing session. He REFUSES to (okay, or just plain can't) latch on to my right side properly, so it stings and burns the. whole. time. he. nurses. It is mind blowing. To add to the melting pot of insanity, my hormones are making me nuttier than a squirrel turd, and my house looks like a bomb went off (which also makes me want to bawl).

Then, in an effort to lift my spirits, I do a mini photo shoot with Tentens...then I edit the images while he sleeps on my chest...and I feel like everything is going to be okay...and I'm reminded that all of the pain, and stress, and exhaustion is totally worth it... because the opportunity to raise this darling little person is so, so choice. In fact, it is all I have wanted. (And yes, I still even want to do it again...and possibly again after that.) I sure love him. He is growing so, so fast. He is already interacting with us in the most satisfying ways. Looking intently into our eyes, smiling, squeaking, yawning... it's all so great. So, without further ado, I give to you:
Our delicious Mr. Tentens.