Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Ask Lola: Friends (and Potstickers)

I made pot-stickers today! ...and learned why they are called pot STICKERS. (Um, they kind of STICK to the pot and such.) Helpful hint? Don't ever (not never) move them until they are completely cooked! (You're welcome)

Dear Ask Lola, It seems like you have lots of AMAZING friends! HOW did you find them? After working for years and years I recently became a stay at home mom. So I've been trying to expand my group of friends as well as look for potential play dates. It seems like I can't find a girlfriend I would like to spend time with. So far my experiences have been a neighbor that complains about EVERYTHING, a friend of a friend that has NO personality and another that flakes out every time we make plans. Am I being too picky? Can you make a for mommy friends?? HELP!? I feel like a friendless loser :(

Here is some info another reader offered:

"The Anonymous
commenter should try looking for mommy friends through a city blog for moms if they have one in her area, she could also try the mommy morning outs that are hosted by local churches. They are a great way to meet other people and hear great advice on raising children. However, if she only knew when you are LDS you have a built in network of friends all around the globe.

Ha ha! She makes a good point! Being LDS automatically provides women with plenty of opportunities to make new friends and easily become integrated in her neighborhood community. If you are LDS, then I would say, take advantage of those opportunities.

* I would say about ten of my dearest friends were brought into my life through the church.
* Four were neighbors in different areas where we lived.
* Quite a few of my favorite "friend finds" were at Sweaty Chix Fitness here in Springville. (Although they have new locations opening up throughout the valley) Everyone there is SO AMAZINGLY nice and fun and outgoing. (What more could you ask for in a work out group?) They have some seriously fun Zumba too.
* Friends from college.
* Friends that I meet through friends.
* My husband's best friends' wives.
* a VERY select few friends from high school.
* Some of my best and most favorite friends on the planet of earth came through pageants (of all places!) And, while I'm not such a big fan of pageants themselves, and usually preface any mention of my pageant involvement with "What was I thinking!!???" I am SO HAPPY that I participated so that I could cross paths with these women. I seriously ADORE them.
* and I've even made a few friends through blogging. Friends that have become more than just blog friends - like, friends that go out to dinner or lunch with me in real life and such.

One thing I do (that helps me make friends) is talk.

Like, a lot. (Shocker!)

I talk to anyone and everyone (double shocker!) and it often results in new friendships. This can be hard (even REALLY hard) for some people, I know, but it is the easiest way I know of when it comes to meeting new people.

I also do something that most people will probably think is bizarre, or nerdy at the very least. When I meet...or even just "spot" someone who I think is totally amazing and eternally more cool, fabulous, and fun than I could ever hope to be, I decide that they are going to be my friend.

Kind of stalker-y huh?

Yeah, I know. But I've made some really cool friends this way.

This post is already way too long! Let me just close by saying - you aren't too picky! I don't like hanging with negative people or flakes either! I also struggle with people that make NO effort to be interesting, fun, or charming. Why should I have to do all the work carrying the conversation AND the friendship, right? I can understand (to a degree) if someone is naturally shy, but come on. We're adults. We should be able to carry on a conversation and do things that are outside of our comfort zones.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm going to try a Zumba class and if I have to I'll stalk mom's at Target! I'm even going to invite a neighbor over for lunch!

Maybe I exaggerated, I'm not a friendless loser, it's just that my close friends aren't nearby. I am starving for more frequent adult conversation!

Thanks Lola!