Friday, April 30, 2010
obsessed part II: target
I have recently become obsessed with registering for baby things at Target. Obsessed. I read every single review, and pour over ever little detail about every single product. I think I am even becoming something of a registry snob. I think, and think, and think, and debate, and debate, and debate over whether or not I want to add something, then, 95% of the time, I don't add it. Then, 5% of the time, I do add it. Then, 3% of the time, I think better of it and delete it back off because, you know, not just any product is wonderful and "5 star" enough to make it onto Baby Bob's all-important Target baby registry. No indeed. This is a very exclusive club I am forming here. It's kind of a big deal, though I don't really know why... It's getting a little scary. I think that the stuck up group leader of my snotty and exclusive Target Baby Registry clique would have to be this Boon High Chair. Isn't she so sleek, and clean, and modern? She practically oozes cool. It's sort of ridiculous. I don't even like snotty, cliquish chicks, but for some reason, I'm willing to make an exception for her. But just this once...
It's all rather exhausting. I just think that after waiting SO LONG to be shopping for a baby again...I've sort of gone a little nutty. I want to savor every second of it. I want to roll around in every detail like a dog wants to roll around in a dead animal carcass. Probably even more than a dog wants to roll around in a dead animal carcass. Now was that really a necessary analogy? OR even a good one for that matter? (I think not.) See how crazy the Target baby registry makes me? Do you SEE??!
Wait, is the term “dead animal carcass” redundant? It is, huh? Because the word ”carcass” already asserts that whatever it was... is now a dead whatever it was…right? Right. Even my writing is suffering. See how crazy the Target Baby registry makes me? I'm a wreck. A WRECK I TELL YOU!!!! Is there a Targaholics anonymous group that any of you know about? I'm thinking of starting up a Utah Valley chapter.
"Hi, my name is Lola, and I'm a Targaholic."
(now you say: "Hi Lola!" ...Oh crap, now I'm telling my friends what to say, just the way I did when we were 10 years old and playing Barbies... I'm backsliding. I'm out of control! NOW do you SEE how crazy the Target Baby Registry is making me? Do you SEE??!!!)