Me: How was school today?
Kort: Good. You know the kid in my class, Trevor?
Me: Yes, I remember Trevor.
Kort: Well, we used to be arch enemies, but now he’s my friend.
Me: You used to be “ARCH ENEMIES?” Why?
Kort: I don’t know. We just were. But now he’s my friend.
Me: Well, good. Is Sally still your girlfriend?
Kort: *smiles* …yes.
Me: Your not kissing her anymore, are you?
Kort: No, but she does come up to me and whisper something in my ear every day.
Me: Oh really? What does she whisper?
Kort: Not. Telling.
Me: Does she say “I love you”?
Kort: *laughs like this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard* NO!
Me: Does she say “I really like you”?
Me: Does she say “You look handsome today”?
Kort: No, but what she says means that.
Me: Well what does she say?
Kort: Not telling!
Me: Yes you are! I won’t be mad, promise. What does she say?
Kort: She says “You look hot.”
I have no words. This must be why God is sending me a baby. My six year old is clearly going on 16 and is also c.l.e.a.r.l.y. “going out” with one of the few girls in his grade that has access to MTV. Oh, kill me now!