i'm feeling a little sad... or a lot sad... okay, if i'm being honest, i think it's more on the "a lot" side of things.

So, my sis-in-law is a foster mom, which also makes her my hero in a huge, huge way. So, the other day, they had some things to get done, and so I took their d.a.r.l.i.n.g. little foster boy with me for the day...and I fell in love. He's 3, and he's sweet, and he's smart, and he's sassy and I just wanted to take him home for forever and ever and ever and ever. While he was at our house for the day, Kort went through his toy box and picked out a bunch of things that he wanted to give to our little visitor (who had NO toys). When we presented him with the gifts, he kept repeating "These are really mine? Mine to keep? Do you mean forever and ever and I can take them - even when I leave your house - wherever I go?" It chokes me up just typing about it... sheesh. Anyway, I'm not allowed to post any discernible pictures of him, or tell you his name, but this is us.

(PHOTOGRAPHY BY KORTLAND, WHICH I MUST SAY IS WICKED AWESOME. HOW HE GOT EVERYTHING TO SWIRL AROUND US SO BEAUTIFULLY, I'LL NEVER KNOW...HE HAS A GIFT I TELL YA!)

He went back to be with his family a few days ago and I miss him already. Kortland loved playing "big brother" all day. He read the little guy stories for the whole half hour drive we made to Cedar Hills and they laughed, and shared "cheese its" and explored the river, and played Nintendo... it was amazing. We wanted to keep him.

In summary: Girls with fertility problems really shouldn't spend entire days with beautiful, smart children whose parents can't get their crap together. But, I wouldn't take the day back. I'm grateful we were given the opportunity to love him and give him the attention and time he clearly deserves (as does every child.) My sis-in-law really is my hero. He was in her home for over 3 weeks, and the initial adjustment has to have been hard and getting used to having his darling little spirit in her home and then having to send him back must have been even worse. But she does it because she believes that children should have safe, warm, happy homes to go to while their parent(s) work stuff out. She believes in trying to help parent(s) get back on their feet. (Which is more than I can say for myself...) And she's willing to sacrifice (like, a lot) to make that happen. Amazing, I tell ya, simply amazing.

Oh, and:

Dear Mother of the Darling Little Boy who Swooped in and Touched Our Lives For a Small Moment,

Get your crap together, please. He is too sweet, and too wonderful, and too precious to have his life crumble out from under him every 3-6 months. And if you can't get your crap together, feel free to call me and hand him over, mmmkay? Sometimes, part of loving someone is doing what's best for them...even though it really, really super-sucks for you. That's part of the mom contract. Kind of a given. Now that you know that, maybe you'll do better. Good luck. (and I really mean it. I want him to have a good life, and the next 15 years of that depends on y.o.u. - so don't screw it up. He's counting on you, and now, so am I.)