Saturday, November 1, 2008

Hulky Halloween!

a few things I'd like to discuss:

1. Halloween make-up is a nightmare to apply, but totally worth it, but ONLY once a year! I definitely need another 364 days to help me forget what a pain it was and how much I never want to do it again! (Who are we kidding, I'm a Halloween nut with the brain of a lemming - I will have forgotten by Thanksgiving;)

after only 35 minutes of halloween make-up purgatory, 2 emotional meltdowns (Kortland's- not mine) and 3 stained dishtowels, we had our hulk!

It took almost as long to get off as it did to put on, and my kid looked like something out of a horror film! Is it just me, or is that totally terrifying?!

2. believe it or not, some costumes really, truly, seriously,
in. all. actuality.
are more appropriate than others
when you are volunteering as a "mommy helper" in your child's classroom.
No. Really? say
Yes, really, I do say...
When I was volunteering at Kortland's school yesterday, it became clear that some (meaning waaaay too many) mothers had no idea that this was so! So, I have a few illustrations to aid the tastefully impaired in their desperate (and in my opinion, rather embarrassing) time of need.
^this: appropriate
^this: not so much
(despite the fact that I saw this exact outfit on a mom helper yesterday. geez!)
^this: appropriate
(what kid wouldn't want to kick it with a Jedi all day for cryin out loud?)
^these: well, you get the idea.
I hope this little tutorial has been helpful! I truly feel with all my lil' heart that if I can help keep even one desperate, clueless mom with low self-esteem from embarrassing herself so pitifully next year, this blog will have been well worth the effort!
Now, if you are going to a Halloween party with other adults, and you wanna be a little sassy and what not, that's your deal. Knock yourself out. But, I can guarantee that next year, any mom who shows up to my kid's classroom in a witch's dress cut down to her belly button is gonna get an earful from me! Fortunately, the moms who volunteered with me in Kort's class were classy and great, but I can't say the same for the Mom helpers in my nephew's class, and that is just not okay with me! ...k I'm done. (I think)
Moving on.

3. Contrary to popular belief, it is actually NOT a great idea to give your 60 and 80 pound dogs a bath on Halloween day. For most of you this is just common sense, but for me, it's really going to have to be something to try and remember in the future. I was the "room mother" for Kort's class, and on the Halloween parade committee, and in charge of decorating the doors at the school, all in that one day - and during the only free 45 minutes of my day, I decided to throw two gigantic dogs into a tub full of bubbles? Wow, total judgement lapse on my part. I must have used up all my common sense when selecting a Halloween costume that didn't fit into the category of soft core porn. ha ha! (okay, I'm really done this time.) On the bright side, Bubbuh got to be a sea serpent for Halloween, so I guess it wasn't ALL bad!

4. Dressing your little dog up in a hot dog costume is always
funny/appreciated/a good idea.
5. Kortland had his Halloween Program the day before Halloween. I was really excited to go to this program because it has been all he has talked about for weeks. He has been singing the songs while playing Legos alone in his room, he has been reciting the poems to us when we've been driving in the car... I was pumped to come and sit and watch him perform in his very first elementary school program. No such luck. He totally sat dazed, staring vacantly into nothingness while, fairies, superheroes, and waaay too many princesses sang and did their little Halloween actions with the utmost glee. In his defense, he totally had to pee, and therefore was a little preoccupied with not wetting himself in front of some 300 people! In the middle of the program, he finally bolted off the stage holding himself and ran to the nearest bathroom! All in all, pretty fun anyway. I particularly love this pic because I love the geriatric Batman costume on the back row! Awesome! Those "super undies" are hitting just below his chin! I guess Batman would technically be a grandpa by now. Makes sense.

6. Grandparents (and Aunt Nancy's) are wonderful! Thanks to both sets of grandparents for taking time to see Kort in his costume and letting him know he is loved, and special thanks to Kyle for always managing to look smokin' hot in every picture I take.
Kyle, Nancy, V, Nahma, Kort, & Grandpa Jim.

Gaga, Jack, Kortland, & Papo.
7. One year olds don't want to be lions! (or bats or pumpkins, or dragons, or butterflies, or witches, or superheroes, or any other stupid costume we can dream up.) Does this mean that I won't be dressing my next baby up for Halloween? Heck no! I love Halloween. They can deal with it. Ha ha! I love Jack so much! He is so exactly like his dad, it's scary sometimes.
Hope you all had a very Happy Halloween!


Kristina P. said...

Your Hulk looks AMAZING!

Ashley Koz said...

go mom, korts get up is the best one I've seen, wait till I post pics of Jared from last night your going to pee your pants, the cheerleader costume worked out perfect btw and crew was the cutest lil dragon ever

Heather said...

Okay, now Tommy is telling me he wants a green face for Halloween next year! Kort looked awesome! And, you are the cutest mom helper ever! What a cute costume.

Ashley said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA to all of it! I don't know what else to say other than this post was freakin' hilarious!

Celeste said...

Do you know how much freaking JOY your blog brings to me? You write so well & I love your pictures & your cute boys & your adorable dogs and your beautiful self. I would go through all the drama (yet fun, good experience) of the pageant again, just to meet you! You make me laugh.