4.29.2009

Dear Journal,

I. slept. in. today. I actually slept in! I couldn’t believe it! It’s the first time since …well, as long as I can remember that my mind hasn’t woken me up (and kept me up) at four or five or six a.m. because it was too full of ideas, and responsibilities, and lists of things left undone, and pressure! Well, this morning, the hubs snuck out of bed (I didn’t even notice when he did) and proceeded to get the Kortmeister up, and dressed, and fed, and combed (what little hair there is anyway) and out the door to school (with completed homework in hand, no less) while I just slept and slept and slept away!

…I am married to superman. Have I mentioned that I’m married to superman? Well if I haven’t, there it is. I am. …and I love it.

Later, I cleaned my house while listening to Ekhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” Book on tape, which the trusty hubs so thoughtfully bought and loaded onto my zune, (yes, I own a zune… and I refuse to be ashamed. Okay, I am a little ashamed, but I refuse to be more than a little ashamed, click on "zune" for full details.) I love that book. Love it. This is my 10th listening…and do I live by it’s principles yet? No. But I’m getting better. The present moment is all I have, and it’s all I will ever have, and I am learning to make the most of every second as it comes. And to let go. Let go. Let go.

And I talked on the phone to friends, and my mom, and my mother-in-law…
And I wrote up a great big huge list of things I have been itching to do around the house:
*Re-tile the entry way
*Finish painting the mouldings around the front door
*Plant hundreds of annuals in the front garden beds
*Build an island in the kitchen
*Find and restore several old, yet glorious chandeliers for the entry way, dining room and kitchen areas.
*Teach the dogs to “Go potty potty” on the side yard that is completely neglected, avoided, ignored, and doesn’t have any grass… (a lofty goal, I know..but a girl can dream right? I made the “Girl’s Night Out” event happen in three weeks, I’ll be darned if I can’t semi-litter-box train two measly dogs!)

Then, the Kort-meister wasn’t listening to me, so I squawked out something to the effect of:

“Kortland James Dugovic I am sick and tired of asking you to do your homework 50,000 times! Now get your booty in here and S.I.T D.O.W.N!!!!”

...at the top of my lungs before realizing that it was a lovely spring day and my windows were flung open as far and as wide as they could go and that the 1st counselor in my stake presidency lives on the left side of my house and the 2nd counselor in my stake presidency lives directly behind me, and I sound like screaming, squawking, crazy white trash!

Delightful.

Awesome.

...And they let me sing songs about Jesus with their children every Sunday? Wow. They are sure sweet to look the other way when I’m a bit of a lunatic. They don’t judge. I respect that! Ha ha!

Later, Kortland called me into the front yard to see his newest “catch” (an enormous, wriggly, wiggly earth worm) and I gasped a little when I saw Kort because he looked like… well, S.P.R.I.N.G. I guess. He looked like spring.

um, yeah... I was definitely wishing I had remembered to have him change out of his bright white school sneakers and into some crocs before hitting the backyard!! Oh well, just kind of comes with the total boy package!

Today, I felt more like me than I have felt in a very long time. And it felt good. I’ve decided that instead of making new goals for myself in the areas of humanitarian work, and career, and blah blah blah, I am making a goal to be the best mom and wife I can be. …and that’s it!

This summer, we’re:
*touring Thanksgiving Point * and the Bean Museum * and going to the library every week, maybe even twice a week* and we’re baking chocolate chip cookies and eating every single one of them hot off the pan and chasing them with as much ice-cold milk as our bellies can hold* and we’re going to St. George and staying for weeks on end and swimming, and sleeping in, and bug hunting in the back yard, and eating at Irmita’s every single day * and we’re going camping up by the cement waterslide and roasting marshmellows, and swimming in the stream, and sleeping in a warm heap of bella and bubbuh and smoky jammies and fluffy down feather comforters * and we’re going to have theme parties * like water balloon fight parties * and painting parties * and reading parties * and my house is going to get remodeled, and clean, and bright, and joyful, and we’ll have friends over for candle-lit outdoor barbeques, and we’ll eat fresh fruit, and we will laugh and laugh and laugh, and I will take my dogs on runs every morning, and

we will get back to basics.

...because, in the end, the basics are the only things that matter…when you really stop to think about it.

I. can’t. wait. Today really was the first day of the rest of my life. Now I’m going to stop writing, hit publish, and go snuggle into the hubs (I fit so perfectly with him, like two little spoons made just for each other) and we’re going to watch “the Celebrity Apprentice” and he’s going to eat a jumbo-sized vanilla milkshake, and I’m going to eat chocolate and peanut butter (as much as I want). The end.