Sunday, March 6, 2011

Food Storage. {and such}

Photobucket

Wow, is this really what it has come to?
A post a WEEK?
Boo to that.

I never thought I'd need to make a goal to BLOG more often...but I might have to do just that. Between prepping a new TV segment, helping the hubs finish the basement, and sleeping for very short, and very few 2 hour hour increments and trying to maintain a livable home environment... I guess I just haven't been able to eek out the spare time needed to write and think {and not particularly in that order}.

So, I said that the food storage post was a post all it's own... and boy is it ever.

Where to start...
Okay, I know where to start.

I like watching my kids eat.
It's cute.
And comforting.
And often funny.
And I just like it.

And the other day, I was thinking...

thinking that our economy is going to pot...
thinking that there are a lot of scary Hitler-esque wanna be's out there who don't like the U.S.
thinking that they have some pretty freaky weapons that they might send our way...
thinking that some of the biological warfare stuff just might have a zombie virus in it
{hey, it could happen}

All of the "paranoid government/world relations" stuff aside, I was also thinking that
My spouse, beloved offspring, and I are living on a gigantic fault line...
one that was set to go all sorts of nutty AWHILE ago...
{translation: it could go all sorts of nutty anytime now.}
Now, one might argue that I will be smashed by my house
{wicked witch of the west style}
in said earthquake, and that a year's supply of food storage won't do me any good.

And to you I say,
"You may very well be right."
BUT
In the event that I DO, in fact, live to fight another day...
I would like to do so with food in my belly and mayhaps even some deodorant too,
thankyouverrrrymuch.

And while I'm not going to live my life in fear from here on out,
I sure as heck think it would be prudent to pull together a year's supply of food storage.
{at the VERY least}

All of the "Utah is on a gigantic fault line" and "biological-warfare-zombie-virus" stuff aside,
I am a Mormon.
And food storage is just something we do.
Our prophets and apostles tell us to do it.
And they tend to be right about these sorts of things.
So I am thinking "Hey, why not?"

But that's not all I'm thinking...

Photobucket
I'm thinking:
If the zombie virus makes people all crazy, and society goes haywire,
and I can't go to the grocery store...
I want to hide in my basement,
burn piles of firewood,
snuggle,
sing songs,
and WATCH MY KIDS EAT.

Cause you know what would be the WORST thing in the world?

...No, not being tied to a chair and forced to watch back to back episodes of "The Tyra Show"
{but close}

It would be.... watching my kids NOT eat!

I'm their mom.

It's my job to make sure that my kids can eat...even if Utah County becomes the new zombieland...that's no excuse for letting my little dudes go hungry. {and no, I'm not saying zombie-hungry, I am saying -we have miraculously escaped the virus and are hiding in our basement without food -hungry}

Oh yes... not even then.


Photobucket


Do I sound nuts yet?
{Okay, for the record, I am kidding about the zombie virus...that would be kinda crazy though, right?}

Well hold on, cause here we go...

*I am also getting butane and propane camping stoves so we can cook indoors.
*We are also going to get a TON of fire wood for our wood burning stove, because our furnace won't work.
*I am also getting sub zero sleeping bags so that we can use them if we run out of firewood and can't go out to the mountains to get any {you know... because of the zombies...}
*I am also stockpiling freeze-dried, heirloom seeds of every kind so that we can grow our own food for years to come...

And now I want my own backyard chickens because I think they would provide delicious, protein-y fresh eggs in a time of much wheat eating.

I also made the hubs order red chili powder paint balls to use against dangerous looters {who wanna hurt my family or steal our chickens}because, while I don't want to have real guns in the house... I don't mind shooting mean people in the face with 15 chili balls per second.

Nope, don't mind that at all.

And, for the record, if nice, hungry people came to our house and knocked on our door and said "Hi, we are hungry." we would SO feed them. They could even move in with us. We would be nice to them, and share all we had. Because, once again, we are Mormons, and that's just how we roll.

And as for the zombies?
Well, Mormons don't have any rules about being nice to zombies...
So I would probably chili-paint-ball 'em in the face.

12 comments:

Life with Kaishon said...

Dear Jesus, Can you please make me as funny as Lola some day? Amen. Love, Becky the Baptist who is Not thinking (but probably should be) about saving food or shooting aliens with red chili paint balls.

Heather said...

:) You go, Laura!

VolleyMom said...

Saw Zombieland and I too thought about the foodstorage thing. In fact going today to get backpacks for the kiddos for their 72 hr kits. Since the addition to our family...I just can't fit everything in our ONE bag. And I think I will do what Zombieland did and take my stuff and trek to Beverly Hills for nice weather and empty mansions. And I will bring my chikens, goats, cows and pigs. Oh, maybe I should think of buying a suburban and flatbed trailer to haul our cookies to Lala Land to live in a dead, zombie moviestars empty mansion. Yeah for Zombies....P.S. stockpile guns and ammo lola. Thats what the TV show Jeriocho and the movie Zombieland taught me. LOVE YOU-NANCY

Karen Deborah said...

You are hilarious woman and that baby is so cute I think you should put up 5 years of food. Just in case the zombies multiply.
I keep about 300 pounds of grain because we can all survive on bread and water for a long time.
and I'm not a Mormon but that's the way I roll having lived threw a major earthquake. I travelled with a huge sterilite bin full of emergency things for a LOONNNGGG time after that. There is nothing wrong with emergency preparedness as long as you don't live in fear.
If I had that darling baby to drool over I wouldn't blog much either. Look at those eyes!!!!!!
You've also made a great argument for World Vision who help feed starving children and clothe them too.
It takes so little to save lives.I can't think of a greater horror than to watch your child starve to death.

On a lighter note this is a great post!

Natalie said...

Its always good to think ahead and be prepared! I agree with you in that I would never be able to watch my baby suffer and starve or not eat! Its scary to think of what the world is coming to...but it's gonna happen so I try to live it out to it's best-est! Cute photos of the 'little dude' munchin on his pizza!

The Paper Sculpture said...

Okay, where on this green earth do you get chili powder paintballs? I agree about the gun thing. I would hesitate before firing a real bullet, but I'm with you I might get a little Rambo-crazy with some chili powder amo!

Kestrel said...

Chili powder bullets! AWESOME!

Yeah, I am into the food storage stuff too. In 2008 I went a bit over board, reading a lot about how the economy was about to tank and we were all screwed. Now I am more careful about it, but I am still stocking up. Just to be safe. It makes me feel better to have extra stuff. Although yeah, if there's ever an earthquake I am totally screwed cuz all our foodstuffs and water is in the basement. Dangit.

Celeste said...

wait a minute.
homeboy's eating pizza?? no thank you to cherrios, I'll take a large margarita please. extra mozzarella.
i love me some tentens
and you too.
i watched cold mountain last weekend & it had me thinking too. stuff could go downhill in a hurry and I'd be just like little miss priss nicole kidman needing a rootin'tooting squinty eyed pickle-faced renee zellwegger to come save my ass.
not quite the situation i'd like to be in.
well actually, she got to go nuts with Jude Law, so maybe I'd trade her....
survival? Jude Law? hmmmmmm
toughie

Amy K said...

You should check out Shelf Reliance and their Thrive foods, and how you can have your own home store. It's one marvel idea, that is truly genius. Shop less, eat healthy, make easy foods for your family, and it conveniently has a really long shelf life. Have it all in your own home store.

You really should check it out. :) I'm only a little biased. But I think it's great stuff!

C Stevens said...

Sounds like you have a great plan. Chickens, frozen seeds and chili paint balls.
I may abandon my "case lot" ideas.

Asim Shahzad said...

Very very nice post and very great information. This blog is very intresting and informative. keep it up dud!!!!!! very nice work

tanalicious said...

i'm with celeste. its a tough choice.

and i totally almost peed my pants reading your post. but if push comes to shove, we've got the real firepower here. you can come, but bring your food.

ps. can we be best friends? i hope you have an opening..