The view from up here... and some thoughts on being someone else's mommy...

every night, it's the same routine.
daddy helps kort brush his teeth.
we kneel on the floor of kortland's room and listen
(and smile...a lot
and exchange bemused glances)
as he says his bed time prayers
and sums up his day
and says thank you for things that only 6 year old boys
would think to thank their Heavenly Father for...
then he gives us hugs and kisses,
and then daddy leaves,
and then i hoist my big pregnant body up the ladder to his loft bed
and we read.

right now, we are reading "holes."
last week, we read poems from
"a light in the attic"
and "falling up"
that shel silverstein is something of a genius, i'll tell you what.
i love our time together.
me and my boy.
i love the way he lays his head on my lap,
and asks what certain words mean,
and laughs at funny (and sort of naughty) poems...
i love being his mom.


it has been just the three of us for nearly seven years...
and now, there will be four.
this is seriously crazy news.
crazy.
tonight, while i was reading aloud,
baby bob was going nuts in my tummy.
kort giggled as he watched my belly roll all over the place.
then he started singing to bb.
then he scratched my tummy and said
"i'm giving him a back scratch."
(kort LOVES back scratches, so this was an escpescially sweet gesture.)

i continued on with the reading.
baby bob got even more excitable.
he was lovin' him some story time.
it was then that i realized:
i am reading a bedtime story to my boys. (plural)
b.o.y.S.
seriously, how crazy is that?
i love it.
i am a mom of boys.
and i can tell they already love each other.
(and hey, who wouldn't love someone who
gave out free back scratches all the live-long day?
i know it's something i certainly couldn't resist
i have a feeling they are going to get along famously.)

i'm trying to soak in the few quiet, special moments we have left.
hoping to fill kort's cup enough to get him through the long nights
and certainly long nursing sessions ahead.
i don't know if this is possible, but i'm sure gonna try.
this is new territory for me.
thank heaven i am starting out with a very sweet, giving boy
who wanted this brother more than anything else in the world.
that oughta help.

but for now, i'm going to hoist (and heave and ho) myself up onto his loft bed
and try not to worry too much about the big changes ahead
and how those changes will affect this little 6 year old love of my life.
i'm just going to love on him,
read "holes" to him,
and listen as he talks about the adventure of the day.
tomorrow will take care of itself, right?