Monday, June 23, 2008

Snicker-gate Memories

Wow, I haven't blogged in awhile! I think the overwhelming amount of vacation-footage-to-be-blogged has made me fearful of going anywhere NEAR the computer! So, I've just had to tell myself that I don't have to blog it all at once, I can take baby steps, and I can also blog on other, shorter, less-demanding topics of interest before I get around to publishing my looming vacation blog. The little gem that has inspired me to blog again was posted on my brother's myspace page by his totally awesome, hilarious friend Katie. It is called:
and it is deeeeliscious! It brought back all of those great, witchy, spoiled college-roommate memories I thought I had blocked out for eternity... I know everyone has them, so I thought I'd share a few of mine, and encourage everyone to go check out this hilarious site!
I love that GROWN adults, living "on their own" still don't have the maturity to talk to their live-in roommates in person when they encouter a problem!
In my first apartment, I was stuck with 2 totally crazy, totally old (for BYU 4-bedroom apartment living standards) roomates who only ever left notes if they had a problem. I made it a point to just never be home - so I felt that I stayed out of all of the mess for the most part, as did the 4th roommate who lived directly across the hall from me (because she pretty much slept at her boyfriend's apartment all the time.) Well, one day, I came home to find a HUGE, nasty note taped to one of the kitchen cupboards that went on and on saying:
"I had 4 candy bars in my cupboard and 2 of them are missing!! I am so sick of this happening! If you didn't buy it, then don't eat it! It's really very simple!"
and that's just the beginning! It went on and on and on, you would think that the perpetrator had murdered her entire family! She was FURIOUS!! I was so bothered by the fact that she would go so nutty over something like a candy bar (which was taken, not by me- of course- but by the other roommate's boyfriend) that I felt right THEN would be a good time to switch apartments. I told the girl who left the note that it was absolutely crazy for a 26 year old woman to get so worked up over the theft of a 65 cent candy bar and that I wasn't interested in coming home to verbally psychotic notes about missing Snickers!
So, like the naive little 18 year old that I was, I moved into an apartment in the next building over - certain that any grass would be greener than the grass I was leaving behind... ahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
*One roommate, who was rich and spoiled and had never done a thing for herself in her life actually loaded her dishes into the dishwasher (after many many passive-aggressive "please don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for others to clean up" notes were left in the kitchen) with half of a cheeseburger still stuck to the plate! I kid you not, it was amazing! I pulled out the bottom rack to load a bowl and was greeted by a plate with a half-eaten cheeseburger clinging to it for dear life! Amazing!
*One roomate had a TON of debt collectors who woke me up at 8:00 am sharp every morning to try and get their money out of her. I would stumble sleepily into her room to wake her up and give her the phone, only to find her, and a special guest NAKED in her bed! This same roommate also cleaned out all of our rooms, stealing CD's, DVD's, jewelry, jeans and whatever else she could find before moving to Sandy and working in a Strip club. Let me just say... Branbury Park sooooo deserved to have their "BYU approval" stripped from them back in the day! This roommate also brought home a cat, and invited a friend to sleep on our couch for like, 4 months. One night, while I was laying on the floor watching T.V., the squatter-roommate's X Boyfriend burst into our apartment with three of his friends and beat the tar out of her new boyfriend who was sitting on our couch. Our entire apartment got trashed and all of us got bruised and bumped around in the process. Classy.
*One roomate would sleep for like, 16 hours straight then come tell me that she kept waking up, but would force herself to go back to sleep because she was making-out with Travis from Blink 182 and didn't want it to end...yikes.
I could go on and on, but I'm tired and need to go to bed, and you've all suffered quite enough I'm sure! Can anyone relate? Ha ha!
Totally check out the site! Maybe you all know about it and I'm just out of the loop, but I just LOVE making fun of note-leavers (being a recovering note-leaver myself). I guess I'll just end by saying "Hi, my name is Laura, and I haven't left a passive-aggressive note in 7 years. Special thanks go out to Kyle for being my rock, and teaching me that if I have a problem, I can just talk about it like a big girl." :)
The end.


Celeste said...

My one and only roommate was literally the best possible person for me to ever live with, so I never had drama like that. but I was laughing my big ol' booty off about your exroommates rockstar make out session dream because I HAD ONE LAST NIGHT!!! And yes, I did force myself to go back to sleep & keep making out with him. And it was wonderful. in fact, i think I'll go have a nap & hope for the best.

Josh and Emily said...

Roommates are the best. I had many of them, oh do I have similar stories. Although I think yours beat mine. But anyway-when are we going to hang out?

Katie said...

Trevor mentioned your blog when he was at my apartment stealing my internet. I decided to be a bit creepy and read it although we've never met.
I come to find out you were creepy first. I'm THE Katie that you referenced in this post.
Thanks for the compliments.

Oh, and nice to meet you.