Monday, March 10, 2008

Another Buried Treasure...

Kyle found another buried treasure on our computer yesterday - it's a list of funny things that Kort said when he was two. We had a good laugh as we read through them for the first time in two years and thought we should share them with our friends and famiy, so here they are... Enjoy!
Kortland @ Jessica's cabin - Sundance, Utah
Kortland says the darndest things!
Here is a list of all of the funny things Kortland has said or done that I have recorded in my journal since the beginning of January of this year. I’ll list the dates with the sayings so you can figure out how old he was when he said them. (If that kind of thing floats your boat…) His birth date is 8/22/03.

“Beave me alone!” (meaning: leave me alone!) It’s so naughty that he’s saying something so sassy to his mom and dad, but it usually cracks us up so bad that we don’t even realize he should be on a time out…

We were looking through pictures of Bryan (my brother) and Cristi’s wedding, and I pointed to a picture of Cristi smiling with her veil over her face and asked Kort “Who’s that?” and he said: “Pretty ghost Cristi!” (By the way, she is always referred to as “Pretty Cristi” the ghost was just a really great addition!)

Looking through another group of pictures, (Kort loves loves loves seeing pictures of his family if you can’t tell) Kort saw a picture of Trevor where he was dressed up in crazy paisley golf pants and was wearing a fake mustache, holding a shotgun (a pic Trevor took as a gift for Cristi for Christmas – lucky girl…) and I asked Kort who it was and he said “UNCLE RICO!”

Today, Kort called our friend Josh a farter (cause he was…) and we all cracked up laughing, and Kyle said “Is daddy a farter?” and Kort said “Yes!” and Kyle asked “Is Mommy a farter?” and he replied “No!” (Atta boy, good answer that’s absolutely right!) Then Kyle said “Is Kortland a farter?” and he came back with the most enthusiastic “YES!” I’ve ever heard and we all busted up laughing again, at which point, he exclaimed “I am!” (obviously very proud of it).

I was trying get Kortland to recite the alphabet one day, but he was really crabby, and I said “Kortland, can you say A?” and he irritably shot back “No, I can’t say A!”


Kortland calls a Jaguar a “Jag water” and he calls marbles “darbles”

Kortland and I took a nap together today, and when he woke up, he told me: “I saw my baby brother baby sister!” and I said “You did?” (excitedly – the way a mother does) “When? While you were sleeping?” He said: “Yeah”. He went on to say “I love my baby sister, I hold her, My babybrother babysister so cute and so smart (he did the sign language for cute and smart as he said this) It was so adorable! I hope it means we really do have more kids on the way soon…

Kortland talked to my parents on the phone today, and my Dad said “Hey Buddy! How are you doing?” and Kort said “I’m good, just hangin out” Where does he get this stuff? Little man!


Today I asked Kort if he wanted to eat some macaroni and cheese and he said “Probably not”. What 2 year old says “probably not”?!!! Also, lately, whenever he doesn’t want to do (or eat) something, he says “No mom, I can’t love it!"

Kort has been sick the last couple of days, and I was giving him Tylenol in the middle of the night, and as he swallowed it he shuddered and said “ewwww-yuck! I eat dirt! I eat dirt!”

It was hilarious, and just the pick me up I needed on a rough night.

Kort and I were cuddling, and he suddenly turned to me and said:
“Mom, I love you too much!”
Can I be any more blessed?

Kort and I were playing Legos today, and he wanted to build the robot “Conkie” from the “PeeWee’s Playhouse” videos he has. (Yes, we let him watch PeeWee, momentary lapse in judgment on our part perhaps?) Anyway, we got him all built, and he wanted to show daddy. When Kyle came in and saw it, he said “Let’s ask Conkie for the word of the day.” Kortland grabbed a flat little foam fish from off of the floor, put it up to Conkie’s stomach and made a mechanical whizzing sound as he pretended to slide the fish out of Conkie’s belly like it was the piece of paper, then he said “door” and screamed! (real loud of course) k – am I really that crazy to think that my child is a genius? j/k

Trevor and Bret’s Favorite: lately Kort has been pulling his shirt sleeve over his hand (to impersonate David Bowie’s character in “Labyrinth”) and exclaiming in a deep, singy voice “And baby says…!”

At Costco today, Kortland (who is obsessed as of late with carrying everything because he is “so tough”) got hold of a big bag of Tulip bulbs and said “Mommy, I got the doughnuts!”

Kyle was rubbing my neck in our bedroom (because it was KILLING!) and Kort wandered in and wanted me to come play toys. I told him “Just a minute bud, Daddy’s helping me with my neck because it hurts so bad.” And he was pensive for a moment, then walked over to Kyle’s side of the bed, got down on his knees and dug underneath it and pulled out my back massager (which is more than half his size by the way) and said:
“Mommy, use this. This will make your neck feel better.” No kidding! He just blows my mind sometimes!

Kort went to Springville to be babysat while Kyle and I went on a date. MaryLee came by to pick Kort up after work, and she had me show her how to get him in and out of his car seat, and they headed out. She told me that he just talked and talked as they drove. When they were stopped at red light, MaryLee explained to him that red meant stop and green meant go. So, when the light turned green, she said “K, time to go.” And Kort exclaimed “Go Dog Go!”
When they got to Springville, she went to get Kort out of his chair, and Kort said “Just push this button” (pointing at his seatbelt clip) and when she unhooked he praised her saying “You’re so smart!”
Later, she fed him pork and beans and wieners for dinner and she said he called them “Pokie beans and wieners” and later he said “Where’s my Pork?”

Whenever Kort does something nice, I say “thank you Kortland – it makes me so happy when you are my helper!” Now, anytime he “minds” or does anything good or nice (and sometimes for no reason at all) he says “Mommy, who makes you so happy?” And of course I say “You do.” And he beams from ear to ear.
*He says “Nempty” instead of "empty"
*And says “crapadile” instead of "crocodile"

We went on a date tonight, and when we got home, he hugged us and said “I missed you too much!”

I was on the phone with my mom and trying to get out the door and I couldn’t find my purse, and I told my mom “I’m headed out right now, if I can find my freakin’ purse!” So I got off the phone, found my purse, put Kort in the car seat and headed out. After driving for about a minute Kort said “Mom, where’s your freakin’ purse?” Yeah, uh officially time to start watching what I say around my little sponge!

Kyle, Kort and I went upstairs to visit our new neighbors. They invited us in and Kort ran into their living room, turned two full circles and exclaimed “I love your house!”


We were headed up the canyon to go spend the night in my friend Jessica’s cabin up at Sundance, and the other couples we were going with each had 1 little girl. So I was jokingly telling Kort that he was going to be a chick magnet and he said “Yeah, I’m a chick maggot!” – So cute!

“I want to go to the swimming cool”

Kortland is potty training and you know that just opens up an entire world of comedic possibilities! Today, he pooped on the potty and got down off of the toilet, then had to take a moment to look at the poop. He said “There’s two poo poos, there’s three poo poos…it’s a family of poo poos!”

Kort went out in the backyard with Grandpa Jim at his house and exclaimed: “Wow, Grandpa Jim, you lawn mowed!”

That’s it for now! Sorry if it bored you or grossed you out, but I think he’s pretty funny! Stay tuned for the next installment!

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